Friday, March 23, 2007 @8:42 PM
Well exams are finally over. Really able breathe the air now, the stress was just so tighly choking me down. Finally there's time to do things that i want to do. Does the school have a little sympathy to at least have a short break for us. Is really draining after long nights of mugging and there's hardly anytime for any other things (rest). Well since is over might as well just have a break. Getting to hate school i think. Shooting seems rather hopless i guess. Sometimes i just try so hard to do something but i just don't seem to do it well anyway. It really makes me wonder if i'm doing the right thing. Everything just seems to hopeless to me now, i just can't get anything right. Something seems to be bordering me right now but i just can't figure what wrong (can't anyone just tell me please). Feeling rather moody today and lately i guess. Maybe i'm just thinking too much at times, making me so depressed. haha here i go again. But sometimes is just hard not to think, people wonder people think. i'm searching for answer to something that seems to unclear to me now. But i really wonder if i should look for it because i somehow just feel i already have the answer in me all along but i just don't want to face it or when i know the answer i just have doubts about it. haha this feeling just sucks! This moody feeling really makes me feel so down and i think that you would understand me but maybe this is not always the case.Sometimes or should i say most of the times things just don't work out the way you think it should. This feeling still lingers in me or is back i guess-feeling uncertain and unsure. The ironic thing is that i know what my heart wants but my mind just doesn't think the same way. Mind over heart, hear over mind. i really don't know. Yup should stop all these no use thinking and talk, shall just listen to music and let the mind rest! haha ya indeed without music, life is a mistake.....
⥠you and i both loved
Tuesday, March 13, 2007 @10:27 PM
Its been so long since i blog, till the extent that i forgot my user. Well got it through anyway. People ask me why my blog had held stagnant for so long, the answer is simple-school. Its been busy busy busy so far now. The timetable seems so unreasonable and demanding, what's left in a student after a 8-9hrs of school life and expecting to study after that. 2007 is already one quarter spent and so many things that had happened. People step in and others leave. Some left a mark while others a new beginning. Sometimes i just can't believe its only been 3 months since the new year. Block test is next week and i'm still light-years away from being prepared for it. Stressed out but i know there's more to do. Can't say is not all that bad, good times were there and i enjoyed them well. Bad times were there and i got through too. So i've accomplished much i should say, and well there's more to go. Guess i just need sometime off and to think about. It really made me think real hard what i really want in life. The answer seems so clear at times but it also seems so blurred and uncertain everytime i come close. Things i hear and see makes me feel even more uncertain about what i'm doing and myself. I ask myself why do i feel this way but the more i pursue the more broken i feel. I know what i want but i just don't have the confidence to look forward and grab hold of it tight. Assumptions and doubts. I guess is just not as simple as it seems and often easlier said than done for
everyone. Time is the right cure to this i hope but its something i got to figure out myself. What the future holds is still unsure, but the
future i hope for still stands. Well the way to find out is to move on. Yup i think is time to move on and for me to head back to my books. So many things yet to do but be sure i will meet up with my friends after this die-hard period of time, so ya damien, in the mean time go train hard, my winning eleven is waiting for you after my block test! =)...mug mug mug...
⥠you and i both loved